The 33rd Annual Hunger Games
by luvakatsuki3
Summary: SYOT: Closed. The complete list of tributes will be available on my profile. [insert amazing summary here] :) Sorry, I can't come up with a very good summary - I think SYOT kind of sums it all up. :P
1. Introduction: Submission Form

So here's the thing, this is another one of the many SYOT stories. I'm writing this mainly because I created a character of my own for an SYOT, and I basically fell in love with the character. Thing is, the story's looking to be discontinued, seeing as it hasn't been updated since last year, and he never even got introduced into the story.

Okay, so there will be 24 Tributes of course, but there will only be 22 spots available, as two spots are reserved for my little brother and I. I promise neither of us will win though. Anyways, that's still quite a lot of spots to fill, especially with the low interest in SYOTs these days.

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Anyways, a couple (or more) quick (or not) guidelines that I'd really love for you to abide by when submitting your character:

1. Please, please, please do not create a super character. I understand you want your character to be absolutely amazing, and you want him/her to have a great chance of winning, but please keep it realistic. Try and take into account what skills your tribute is likely to have coming from the district you choose. Feel free to have a couple extras, because I get that it's also not realistic to be restricted to just district-wide skills. Try and keep it human please.

2. Don't make your character absolutely flawless in every way; if you want them to be perfect physically, at least give them some miniscule personality flaw. I.e. Drop dead gorgeous, but a real bitch to boot. I'd like to point out, you absolutely MAY make them perfect (in your eyes) if you so choose. This isn't set in stone, and I will definitely still consider everyone's character, perfect or not.

3. Please keep it physically possible. A person cannot have, for example, blue eyes streaked with red. Here is a list of possible things the human eye can do. Eyes can be all one color with a patch of one eye being a different color, I know this for a fact as my friend's eyes are like that. Eyes can also be any natural color, including gray. Eyes cannot be red, cannot be bright yellow, cannot be white. Things like that. Now if I'm actually wrong, and eyes can be any of those colors, I don't mind you letting me know so. Eyes can also be two different colors. Despite popular belief, that is definitely possible. Now note, I cannot have all the characters have unique eyes like that. That doesn't mean you can't put that as the eye color, but I'd like to point out that I'm only going to except two or maybe three like that before I start requesting for you to change the eye color. I feel like not outright rejecting your character would be the right thing to do, because I do understand why you might be drawn to a unique trait like that. I personally have a thing for one blue, one green, with white hair; hella sexy in my book. I'm not sure if hair can be white, so I am going to accept anything that sounds plausible with hair. Please keep in mind that people in the districts aren't going to have access to hair dye, so they can't have turquoise, green, etc. hair. If you want to say like, black with a greenish tine, bluish tint, purplish tint, etc. feel free. I'll except that. I'll except blood red, bright red, things like that seem plausible to me. Maybe blood red not so much, but still, I'll except that. If you really, really want wild, crazy hair, go for it, but I might not give you a spot. Then again, I might.

4. I love a nice healthy dose of tragedy, angst, etc. Anyone does, but again, please don't over-do it. I'll consider it just the same as anyone elses, but if their entire life is doom and gloom, it'd be nice of you to give them a break, and let them have something at least, be it a good friend or what have you.

5. Once you submit a character, please keep an eye on your inbox. I think it'd be to the best results if I conferred with the creater of the characters when I write about them, as who knows them better than you do? If you want to, you can just hand the character over to me, as in, just let me know that you want me to develop the character on my own without your help, and I will. I'd also be willing to let you back in on them if you change your mind later.

6. Please, no dorky nicknames like The Destroyer..., when I ask for a nickname I mean a nickname they go by in their real lives. Like, if a person's name was Jennifer, a plausible nickname would be Jenny. But I don't mind creativity. If you want your character's friends to called them something like Hotshot or something, as I know lots of friends have stupid nicknames for each other, feel free to go for it.

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Now I'd just like to make it clear for you all. I'm going to be choosing myself when the characters die. As in, if it's in the bloodbath, beginning, middle, end, etc. And I'd like you to know, both mine and my brother's characters are definitely 100% going to die in the games. It'd be unfair in about a million different ways if either of them won. I will though, let you know straight up that mine at least is likely to survive at least until the middle-end stage, as I feel really attached to him, and I want his character to be able to develop nicely. But it was always my intention for him to die in the games, from the first day I made him, the author always had permission to kill him off whenever she wanted, as long as he didn't win. I don't want him to, seriously. As backward as that seems, I created him as a character that could be killed off.

Note this, I know most people want their character to live. But keep in mind, there's only one winner. Only one of you will be the winner. Odds for you right now is that 22 to 1 your character is going to die. Just making sure you're aware. For those of you whose characters do die, please do not be too upset. It'd make me feel bad. :(

Okay, sooo submission form. Again, note, if you want your character to be a suprise to the people who go through the reviews to scope out the characters, just send this to me in a private message and it'll be secret. And, if you do so, please make sure you can receive private messages as well, so I can reply to you. If you can't then I won't except your character. I believe that's reasonable.

But anyways, check my profile for the submission form, or request it in a pm. If you go with the pm, ask me to reserve a spot until you finish and I will. :)

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Updates: Districts 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are all full, and District 2 female is taken. The rest is still available. :)

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Please note, not everyone can have a romance, there's just no way. But if you request one, it will be considered, but I'm only going to do one romance that full out, as in feelings returned, actually happens. Other romances can be tried in terms of one-side, crushes, spur of the moment kisses, etc.

But as I said, I'll consider anything you throw at me, so do whatever you want, just keep in mind the guidelines. They aren't an absolute 100% dealbreaker, but I'm definitely not going to take it unless it's good. Now, besides all these multiple requests, please go wild. :)

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Submissions Appreciated,

Luvakatsuki3


	2. District 1 - Reapings and Train Ride

A.n.

Okay, I know, excuses again, but this really would have been up almost three hours ago. Thing is, my laptop decided to pull a jerk move and closed and re-opened the page. You have no idea how mad I was right then. I was seriously almost done editing it, and next thing I know every single thing I'd change was back the way it was. It took me another three hours to fix it again. I have a nagging feeling I missed some things this time around, but overall, I think I got everything corrected. If I missed anything, feel free to point it out. I'm always open to honesty.

So, onto the actual story, I really hope you guys like it. This is honestly the biggest challenge I've ever faced in a fic, and I'm hoping it'll go well. At any rate, I did try really hard, and I couldn't get a Beta in time to do this chapter, so it's all my own work. I'm hoping that won't be a bad thing, but who knows; there are some things authors don't catch in their own work that other people see easily.

And sorry, really, really, sorry that it's so long. I didn't actually mean to write so much, it just happened - I'm a sucker for details, but hopefully this can be a good thing. Most of you will probably notice that my favorite things to use in writing are the semi-colons (;), dashes (-), and ellipses(...). I'm pretty sure I overused these, especially the semi-colon, but hopefully that can be overlooked.

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Elizabeth Jeanne Kingston POV:

"Elizabeth! Alessandra! Get up now, it's almost eleven. You've had plenty of time to sleep. Come on, get up!" My mother's slightly shrill voice disrupted my sleep.

I groaned loudly, and heard an echo from my right. I grinned a little and cracked an eye open, only to see my sister's pouting face. Sana. Always the last one home in bed, always the last one out of bed; a real night owl. I pushed her out of bed, jumped up and ran for the bathroom.

"Elizabeth!" I laughed at her and kept going. I could hear my sister racing after me; she had absolutely no chance. I was in the bathroom with the door locked before she reached the door.

"Please, Belle, it takes me so much longer to get ready." I had my ear pressed to the door, knowing she was in the same position on the other side.

"Exactly, Sana, when would I ever find time to get ready with you in here?" She stomped her feet at that, but we both knew she wasn't really angry.

"Doesn't twinsies mean anything to you anymore? Where's the consideration? I'm oldest, I should get first dibs on the bath." I could imagine how her grey eyes were narrowed in frustration now; I just rolled mine.

"_I'm _the oldest, Sana, not you. And _I'm_ going to get ready now. Do me a favor and bring me my clothes, would you?" I could hear her mumbling about letting me run around naked all day, "Thanks dearest _little_ sister!"

With that, she grumbled loudly and stomped off. I couldn't resist a little happy dance to celebrate my conquest over the bathroom this morning; I was usually feeling too sick to care much about it. Strange that I was feeling so good on my least favorite day, Reaping Day that is. Brushing off the thought, I got ready quickly, and, as promised, my clothes were folded in front of the door when I cracked it open.

I dressed quickly in the cherry, red dress and brushed my light, red hair out of my face. I stopped a moment to admire myself in the mirror: grey eyes, red hair, with a sprinkling of freckles. I couldn't pretend I wasn't pretty, Sana and me are identical down to the last freckle, but I'd never felt as pretty as she was. I sighed and left the bathroom. My normal good mood was rather subdued by the date. Reaping Day... how I detested it, detested the capitol. Monsters, the lot of them. Shaking the treasonous thoughts from my head, I left the bathroom and tromped down the shaky stairs.

Our house is two stories, but still rather small. We're well off, but not the richest family in the district. That title fell to the mayor and his wife; they were extremely well off, and extremely disliked despite being fairly lenient on the people. Even we were disliked on some level, though that came more from Sana's notorious reputation than from our good fortune. I'd sometimes wondered how we could be so different in such a radical way. She'd slept with half the district; I'd had sex one time and had regretted it since. I quickly brushed thoughts of Sana from my head, they often made reapperances on reaping days, but I tried my best not to judge my sister.

"Nice of you to join us Elizabeth." This was my father's greeting. He was the greatest stability in my life, even if he was a pushover. Sana noticed me then.

"Finally Belle! You take forever in the bathroom, yet you say I'm bad." She grabbed her toast and raced up the stairs. My father chuckled at her antics and pointed his thumb up after her.

"I swear I don't know how that kid came from me and your mother. I get you, I just don't get that little spitfire." I might have found this funny... if I didn't get the underlying statement he was making. I cut short the urge to snap his head off; this was something I could understand. He'd never understood why Sana slept with every boy that looked her way. Honestly, I never had either, and I knew her better than anyone. When I finally snapped back to the moment, I sat down and started buttering some bread. Nobody questioned this; I have a bad habit of getting lost in my thoughts.

A quick survey of the kitchen told me my mother wasn't here.

"Where'd mom run off to then?" My dad just shrugged his shoulders.

"Louise isn't here? Well... you know your mom, kid, very detail oriented. Probably off getting some last minute ingredient for dinner tonight." He smiled fondly and returned to writing notes on a little piece a paper; something for work no doubt. I stemmed my urge to fill the silence, he was working after all, finished my breakfast and stood up, stretching.

"Well, when Sana's out of the bath, tell her I'm going to find Jack, kay?" He waved his hand at me.

"Sure, sure, tell Theodore I said hello. Nice kid; I think he likes you, you know." His eyes were twinkling mischievously for what he obviously thought was a secret. I'd let him continue to think so.

"You know it'd never work dad. We've been friends for _way_ too long." I repeated the line I'd been telling myself for years. It hurt these days, ever since my latest birthday. I took a breath and smiled.

"Well I'm going then, see you at the Reaping! Tell mom I said see you."I left before he could say anything else and walked off to find Jack, Theodore Jackson that is.

I ignored all the looks that guys gave me as I walked by. It was hard for most people to tell me from Sana. While I hadn't quite lost all my baby fat, the real tell tale sign is the scar on my cheek, but it's hard to see from a distance. I'd gotten the scar a few years back defending Sana from a peacekeeper; she'd flirted with the wrong person. It'd been ugly and red at the time, but it had faded into a thin white line; if you didn't know it was there, you'd have to look hard to see it.

I was nearing the capitol building by the time I found Jack. He was standing against a wall stairing moodily at the large screens that were already lit up with the Capitol's symbol. That's one thing we have in common, our loathing for the Capitol. I ran up behind him quietly and jumped, "BOO!"

He jumped forward, tripped and fell flat on his face. I couldn't help giggling as he pouted up at me from the ground. He just sat there wiping the dirt off of his black slacks and not-so-white-anymore shirt for a minute, and I almost felt bad for getting him dirty. Then he turned his green eyes to me expectantly and raised an eyebrow, "Well?"

I stared at him a minute, then blushed and coughed a little to dispell what I imagined was tension from my stupid awkwardness. I held out my hand to help him up.

"Sorry," I muttered, waiting for him to take my hand. When he didn't I glanced up at him. He was staring at me. I wondered what he was thinking. At any rate, he finally did grab my hand... and pulled me down on top of him.

"Jack!" I whined, "You're getting me dirty."

He just snickered and poked my cheek, "But we both like it better down here, don't we Elkie?"

I blushed again, cursing his uncanny ability to make me do so, and suddenly realized I was straddling him on the ground... nothing new there. We'd slept together a few months back. I was the only one still being awkward about it. I'd try to forget it the best I could, but I hadn't had much luck, and he surely wasn't helping things.

"Alright, Elkie, we better get up. You're attracting a fanclub." He was laughing at me, again. I frowned at him. He hadn't been like this before that night; before he'd have gotten angry if any guy even looked in my direction. I knew it was because he didn't want me to be like Sana. He understands now I guess, or at least thinks he does, that I'm not big on romance; what he still doesn't get: I'm not big on romance because I've been in love with _him_ for most of my life. I'd have killed for a romance with him.

He reached up and rubbed his thumbs over the edges of my mouth, "What's wrong Elkie? What are you thinking about?" He was the one frowning now. I scoffed and rolled off of him, as if he didn't know! I'd slept with him for goodness sake. I couldn't be like my sister, I couldn't just forget about it. I stood up quickly and brushed the dirt off of my dress. He was quick to follow me.

"I'm serious Elkie, what's up? What did I do?" His eyebrows were knit together, and he really did look confused, but I didn't want to talk to him about this.

"It's nothing Jack, I don't want to talk about it, okay?" He was staring at me so intently I turned my gaze to the ground again.

"Alright Elizabeth. But I'm here, you know. If you ever want to talk to me - I'm here." He was looking at me the same way he had earlier. I groaned.

"Boys are so confusing!" He smiled widely.

"Is that it? I can't be anymore confusing than you are! I don't understand what you and Alessandra are thinking seven days out of every week." I had to laugh at his lame attempt at a joke, and he was laughing because he somehow thought it'd been funny.

Sana came running up then, out of breath and gasping.

"I've been looking for you guys forever! Why do you have to always lurk in dark, hidden corners together?" She was frowning at us with her hands on her hips. She was dressed the same as I was: red dress, shiny black shoes, hair down; and yet she managed to look about twenty times better than I did. I wasn't the only one whe noticed either. Several guys from the poorer parts of town were staring blatantly at her chest. I resisted the need to slap their ugly faces.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?" She looked a lot like an angry kitten, a sexy angry kitten.

Jack and I shared a glance and burst out laughing. I didn't bother replying to her until she stomped her foot again. "Seriously, what's so funny?"

"We're standing next to a wall in the center of town in broad daylight Sana. How is this a dark, secluded corner?" She glanced around for a second before she pouted at me.

"Well, I was hoping to find you two hidden away in a corner... I just forgot that when I did find you, you might _not_ be." She shrugged like that was normal. To her, it probably was; she'd always been pushing for Jack and me to hook up, yet when we did, she hadn't had a clue. I snickered a little, but ignored the confused looks they sent me.

By now, the area was starting to get crowded. It must have been going on two o'clock; that's when the reapings would start. It seemed like the three of us realized this all at the same time and we moved away from the wall and started walking towards the huge stage where the reapings would take place.

I couldn't help grabbing Sana's hand as we got closer. We'd never had to get tesserae before, but we were both 18 now. Our names were in the reaping bowl as many times as possible without any extras, so was Jack's. I could feel the pressure settling heavily on my chest; either we escape it for good this year, or one of us is called, possibly two.

Sana squeezed my hand. "We've gotten this far. The odds are in our favor. There's plenty of careers this year." I tried to smile at her, but somehow I wasn't reassured. Sana had been through every one of the careers - well, not the girls, but they certainly wouldn't volunteer if either of us were reaped. Suddenly I felt sick, but this was nothing new; at least it was only nerves now, and not the nausea I was prone to. I looked at Jack and grabbed his hand as well. He smiled sympthatically at me; it helped a little.

"Alright, let's go sign in then. We really do have good odds this year." I grinned at them and squeezed their hands tight... if anything happened to these two people, I just might die by association. I pulled them towards the sign-in station.

"Just like you to turn the mood so quickly." Jack joked beside me. We all laughed a little at that; hey, it was true, _very_ true.

When we got through signing in, Sana and I went to stand with the other girls in our age group and Jack went to stand with the boys. It wasn't long before I could see mom and dad waving at us from the crowd. They looked nervous, scared; this was a regularity during the Reapings, but this would be the last year they'd have to feel this way. We'd be out of it momentarily.

I shot them a thumbs up and returned my vision to the giant screens surrounding us; the Capitol movie was starting. I looked at the screen, ignoring what it was saying. I knew the words by heart by now. It lasted a good 10 minutes before the escort for our district, Kern Fairbane, came onstage to address us.

I'd always liked Kern. His coloring was extremely muted in terms of the Capitol: his eyes were a pale brown, he wore large amounts of white, and his pale skin was probably a result of a lot of make-up. In contrast to that, his dark, brown, curly hair was pinned to the back of his head, and he flaunted various pieces of ridiculous-sized jewelry. He seemed very down to Earth, and much more... approachable than some of the other districts escorts.

"Alright children, let's get this show started." He smiled at us, showing off his shiny, straight, white teeth. " I wish you all the best of luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor."

He walked over to the large, glass bowl on the right of his podium.

He grinned jauntily, "Ladies first."

The pale hand deliberately took it's time rolling through the slips of paper, and I was quick to take back every compliment I'd ever given him; I did this every single reaping, yet somehow I always liked him just as much the next year. Finally, very slowly, cautiously almost, he pulled a slip of paper from the bowl.

"Alright folks, we have our tribute! Let's see who the lucky lady is..." He pulled the slip open and read through it a couple times. " Please make your way to the stage - Alessandra Kingston!"

My pulse raced about a thousand miles into overdrive and I was extremely close to losing my breakfast on national television. Sana didn't seem to be comprehending what was happening. She hadn't moved, hadn't spoken. It took all of three seconds for me to make up my mind. I glanced over at Jack, who was staring at us in disbelief. When our eyes met, he seemed to age a thousand years; We'd always been good at understanding each other and he knew immediately what I was thinking. He started shaking his head and pushing his way towards me. I ignored the sudden aching in my chest, released Sana's hand, and began moving quickly towards the stage.

"No! Stop!" I could hear Jack's protests echoing in my mind, but I knew I had to do this. I was meant to protect her. I was the oldest, I had to protect my younger sister. We're twins, no one would ever have to know. I glanced at my parents. They hadn't realized I was Sana yet; they were crying, my mother screaming in my father's arms. I kept walking - they wouldn't stop me.

Jack was getting closer reaching out for me, but he didn't make it in time. The crowd had split, and I was past the line of peacekeepers before he could touch me. I glanced back at him, saw his horrified expression, and looked to Sana instead. She hadn't changed any, had probably gone into some kind of shock. I smiled at her and climbed the stairs onto the stage.

I closed my eyes for a second to clear my mind. I'd just switched places with my twin in the 33rd Annual Hunger Games.

"Congratulations dear. You seem quite happy to be tribute this year. You'll have to tell me later how you managed to get your dress so _absolutely filthy_; I'm sure it's a delightful story. Now let's choose our male tribute tribute, shall we?" He was smiling at me. Congratulations...? What a prize.

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I must have zoned out, because next the thing I knew I was in the Capitol building and Jack, Sana, mom and dad were coming at me all at once. Yelling, they were all yelling.

"I can't believe you did that! What the hell were you thinking? You shouldn't have done that." That had been Jack. I wasn't surprised by his reaction.

"Belle, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to freeze up. You shouldn't have went in my place. It should be me. You're the good one. Oh gods, can't we change back? Do you think they'd notice?" She was a crazy mess - all over the place. She was pacing and pulling at her hair.

"Elizabeth! What do you think you were doing? They called Alessandra, not you!" Dad. I wondered if he realized how hard Sana might have taken that, but at least she wasn't listening, or I might have had to yell right back at him.

Mom was the only one not yelling at me. She was doing some kind of mixture of a scream and a cry that made tears well up in my eyes. I guess my crying sort of calmed everyone down, because they stopped yelling at me. Sana ran and gave me a hug, and Jack ran his fingers through his brown hair, glaring at the floor; he was still angry. I'd expected that, but I wished he would look at me.

Mom and dad stood off to the side, mom wrapped up in dad's arms. This was crazy. This was insanity. Part of me wanted to take it back. Let it happen like it should have, but this was Sana - Sana, who'd never stand a chance in the Games. For all she liked to play tough, she'd always been quick to fall apart. I couldn't let her break like that. I had a better chance of winning than she did. A small, minimal chance, but a chance none the less.

"Quit crying, okay. Everyone just calm down and quit crying. I had to do this Sana. Sana, take this as another chance, okay?" She stopped pacing and stared hard at me, wiping her eyes. "Change the way your living. I don't know why you act the way you do, and maybe now I never will, but you have to quit throwing yourself around like you mean nothing! You see how much you mean to me don't you? You have to do something, okay? Promise me."

She was somewhere between being angry and sobbing uncontrollably, but she nodded her head sharply.

"I promise Belle, I will." She didn't cry. This was making her stonger, and that, at least, made me happy.

I turned to Jack still smiling, then I stopped; he was crying. I'd never seen Jack cry before. I went up to him and hugged him tightly. This scared me even more than the Hunger Games did; I didn't want him to get hurt over me. I looked up at him, and he was staring at me, again. I started to pull away, blushing, but he grabbed my face in his hands and leaned closer.

My breath caught in my throat... and he kissed me. Kissed me slowly, gently - lovingly. I wasn't sure this was entirely appropriate for my parents to see, but I kissed him back anyways. I tried to convey everything I'd ever felt for him in that one kiss, but that was impossible. Really and truly impossible.

It seemed like minutes before we pulled away from eachother. Sometime during the kiss I'd closed my eyes, so I opened them again.

Jack was smiling now, even if a little sadly, "I'm a really good kisser aren't I Elkie? When you win this thing I'll give you about a thousand more, alright?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Are you trying to bribe me with your flabby lips Theodore?"

He just shrugged, "Is it working Elizabeth?"

I couldn't help laughing at him, "Hit the road Jack." He mock pouted at me, but swooped in and stole another kiss. My sister 'aw'ed at us, but my dad cleared his throat.

"I think that's enough action for my daughter's lips, thank you." His face was red, and I felt a sudden urge of affection for him and his awkward interruption.

"Whatever happens, dad, mom, I love you guys. You're the best parents I could have asked for." My mother just shook her head, falling into my father's arms. She would be okay eventually. She had to be; I couldn't regret this. My mood sobered, I turned to look at Jack; I was talking to everyone, but I was looking at Jack.

"I'm going to miss you guys. If I don't come back, I want all of you to know that I love you. All of you." I wiped at my eyes again. Surely I looked awful, with red, puffy eyes, and water all over my face, but Jack pulled me close to him, and pulled something out of his pocket.

"This is from me and Sana Elkie. Never forget that you have a family here. We need you, so never stop fighting. Win this thing for us, Elkie." He'd pulled a gold, ornate cross necklace from his pocket and clipped it around my neck. I cried even harder at the beautiful gift; it was the nicest thing I'd ever owned. Sana joined into the hug, crying uncontrollably and murming indistinguishable things I couldn't make out.

Moments later, the peacekeepers entered the room and told everyone to leave. I let go of Jack and Sana and watched as mom, dad, and Sana left the room. Jack lingered for a moment, ran back to me and whispered in my ear.

"I love you Elizabeth. I always have." That would have been nice to know three months ago. He'd obviously followed my train of thought, because he smiled before he was pulled from the room and the doors were slammed shut. I laughed off the giddy feelings from his confession and started pulling myself together in silence.

If I was going to win, I had to be strong.

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Alexis Sterling POV:

I loosened the heavy green tie that was tight around my neck. It felt like I was being sentenced to death - by hanging probably. Venice, my caretaker, woke me up early today, gave me nice clothes to dress up in, and helped me put on the tie. She acted like she was my mother. Sometimes, most of the time, I wished she was.

"It's a big day," She'd said. "You'll finally meet some children your age." She'd grinned happily at me, like I was supposed to be excited. I'd meant to smile back, but I was still a little nervous about the Reapings. Instead of watching them from my father's office, I'd be watching them with the rest of the district - as a potential tribute. Leaving the house was new to me. I'd never been allowed to, but that'd never stopped me when I was younger. Of course, I hadn't been able to get out for years; father'd made sure of it after what happened last time.

I studied my frustrated face in the mirror. It's not a good look for me I decided; made me look uptight and snooty. I snickered at myself and messed up the neatly combed, bright hair I'd inherited from my mother - my mother; she isn't really my mother. She's nothing I could call mine anywas. She hates everything about me. My father doesn't like me much either I guess, but he looks at me sometimes, smiles at me even, like he's happy to see me. Maybe he is, but I pretend he isn't anyways. It hurts less that way.

I rubbed at the silver bracelet on my wrist; I always did when I thought of this subject, and since I didn't have much else to do, I thought about it a lot. I'd had a brother once. He'd been a lot like me, with white hair, green eyes, and a rather handsome face. Our mother was always very protective, but she'd loved us, both of us: the ever adventurous Alexander, and the little misfit that followed him around, me, the snot-nosed nuisance Alexis.

"I love you _so_ much I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." She'd said this to us often. I wondered sometimes why we meant so much to her. Whatever the reason, I suppose I can understand why she hates me now. It was my fault Alex died. I hadn't meant for it to happen, but it had, and things had never been the same. That's when my mother'd decided she couldn't bare the sight of me, and my father had left me to follow after her. At least he'd appointed Venice to take care of me; he hadn't completely forgotten. I was thankful for this small miracle; Venice was really the best thing in my life.

I cleared my head of these thoughts and set off to find Venice. She was sitting at the kitchen table sipping a cup of tea. She looked as shaken as I felt, but there was no reason to make her feel worse about it.

"Hey Venice, what are we eating today?" I grinned goofily and plopped into a seat across from her. She shook her head at me, but beamed as she stood up. If there was one thing that could make her feel better, it was cooking. You could say it was Veni's stress reliever.

"I could cook for the whole District this morning and I don't think I'd mind a bit." This was her way of making me feel better; I always feel better when she's happy. "But it's just you little 'Lexis, so what would you like today?"

I pretended to deliberate. "Shall I have a hunk of cheese, or chicken out of a can for lunch today? I think I'll go with the cheese."

"Alright then, macaroni and cheese it is." I only ever used one of the words associated with what I wanted, she always got it right though. I suppose five years of the same game would do that for a person; I really ought to think up something new.

We chatted idly until she was done cooking. Then I realized I wasn't very hungry. It's Reaping Day, one of the few times I'll ever step foot out of the yard, and, with my luck, probably the day I'd be called during my first ever Reaping. I poked the macaroni around on the plate.

"Alright Alexis, I suppose you're not hungry today?" She picked the plate up and took it away. She always asked me first. This was probably because, technically, she was supposed to do whatever I wanted to do; it's really written in her contract, but I'd never make her do anything she didn't actually want to do. Venice is the only person I know besides my parents, and therefore the only person in my life who cares about me. I decided I maybe ought to let her know that. I looked up at her from beneath my lashes.

"Venice, if I'm chosen for these Games, I want you to know that you're my best friend in the entire world." I half expected her to yell at me, what can I say - a mother like mine can do that to a person, but her brown eyes teared up quickly and she dabbed at them with the apron she'd thrown over her black dress. She forced out a shaky laugh.

"Now don't you go jinxing it, you hear? This is the first year your name is in it. The odds are completely in your favor." I sighed loudly; I'd always been very pessimistic, and I somehow got a horrible feeling that I'd be the one whose name was called. I wondered what I would do if I got picked - Cry? Laugh? Scream? I decided to just change the subject.

"What time is it anyways? I wouldn't want to be late, now would I?" I laughed at the tacked on question. I'd gotten that from her for sure. She didn't bother asking what I thought was funny; I think most things are funny. I'm pretty surely a bad person for half of the things I laugh at.

"You're quite right, it's going on two o'clock! We'd better hurry, hadn't we?" I got up and walked with her to the front gate; she had a key. I was nervous to see what was outside those gates. I'd seen it a few times ebfore I was 7, but I never could remember much about that day. I'd snubbed it out, did my best to erase it... so in other words I forgot all the important details, but remembered everything I been trying to forget to begin with. Funny how that works isn't it?

She unlocked the gate quickly and pushed me through. It wasn't like I'd expected it to be. I had supposed, my father being the mayor and all, that not everyone would be as well off as we were, but I hadn't thought they'd be outright poor. A lot of the houses I could see were small, probably very cramped. I wondered what it'd be like to live in one of those houses; probably better than living the way I did. Venice started pulling me along at a slow jog and I craned my head to get a look at the scenery; it was really just depressing.

"Now then Alexis, shoulders back, head held high. Remember what your father said? You're a reflection on him, and you must act like it. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, probably, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to him." Despite this I did straighten my back, and I stopped squirming to get a better look around; it wasn't all that interesting anyways. If either of my parents cared anything for me anymore, it'd be my father - that was the only reason I did what he asked of me.

When we got to the center of the district, I couldn't stop myself from looking around. There were _so_ many people. To a kid that's only ever been around three people at any given time, my parents and brother as a kid and my parents and Veni now, it was hard to keep my excitement contained. Several people were shooting me strange looks. I got that this, however, was because they'd never seen me before. I smiled and waved at them, but they just averted their eyes and turned away.

"Alright Alexis, I have to go, but what you need to do is go sign in. They're going to prick your finger a little, that's all. Then go stand with the other boys your age." She pointed them out to me, gave me a quick hug, and hurried off to stand within the roped off crowd. I quickly did as she told me to. The other kids formed a ring around me and shot nervous looks at me - like I was contagious. For all they knew, I was. Why else would I never come outside? I faked a coughing fit, and snickered beneath my hand at all the kids that cringed away from me.

Pretty soon a video started playing, a video about why we had to have the Hunger Games, and why it was necessary, and blah, blah, blah. I ignored it and searched the crowd for Venice. Instead, I found my parents. They were in front of the other people in the crowd, a privilege of my father's position, I'm sure. Neither seemed as nervous as Venice had. Of course, neither cared if I was reaped; I'd be surprised if they weren't hoping for that to happen. I took to people watching instead.

One of the kids beside me had a horrible, ugly mole on his collar bone. I decided he must have been lonely because no girl would ever fall in love with him, but then I realized he was kind of handsome besides that so I rearranged my story; he was lonely, but he might meet someone who could look past his hideous mole someday. Yes, that sounded more accurate. Another boy was the tallest in our age group, his nose was covered in a bandage, broken I guess, and I thought he'd taken badly to a 'How's the weather up there' joke. I'd went through many of the guys my age before the movie stopped playing.

That's when a wierd looking man wearing makeup walked onto the stage. This must have been Kern Fairbane, the escort for District 1. He was dressed all in white with powder on his skin, pale brown eyes, and dark brown hair. I was a little surprised by the amount of jewelry he had on. I suppose in the capitol that's normal, he sounded normal anyways.

"Alright children, let's get this show started." He smiled in what he probably thought was a winning way, " I wish you all the best of luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor."He walked over to a big bowl on his right, " Ladies first."

He took a lot of time spinning the slips around, probably on purpose, before he pulled one out.

"Alright folks, we have our tribute. Let's see who the lucky lady is..." He unfolded the slip of paper and read it a couple times before he said, " Please make your way to the stage - Alessandra Kingston!"

There was a moment of silence before a pretty girl with red hair and a red dress started walking to the stage. There'd been another girl identical to her standing beside her, twins I guess. I felt bad for the other twin, losing someone so close to her. Strangely, it was a boy who seemed the most affected. He chased after her yelling for her to stop.

I didn't understand this much. There wasn't anything he could do for her, because guys can't volunteer in place of a girl. I guess he must have been her boyfriend. I felt bad for him as well. She didn't pay him any mind, just kept walking until she got onto the stage. She almost looked out of it. That was probably her way of dealing with it, zoning out until she had a moment to herself.

"Congratulations dear. You seem quite happy to be a tribute this year. You'll have to tell me later how you got your dress so _absolutely filthy_; I'm sure it's a delightful story. Now let's choose our male tribute, shall we?" He walked over to the glass bowl on the other side of the stage.

This time, he reached in quickly and pulled out a slip. He was obviously amused by the gasps this drew from the crowd. I just thought the entire thing was overly dramatic. If you got picked, you were probably dead, and if you didn't you'd end up celebrating the death of someone else. Either way, someone's dead and there's nothing you can do about it, right? Somehow, I still felt a little nervous.

"Alright now, who do we have here?" He flipped the paper open and read it a few times, before grinning largely," Mr. Alexis Sterling, please make your way to the stage."

I blinked a few times. As much as I'd _said_ I'd be chosen... I hadn't _actually_ thought I would be. This was as good as a death sentence. It was suddenly a lot harder to breath, and I had to swallow several times to keep from crying. I didn't have much to live for, but I did want to live, for Venice at least. I wondered for a moment what she'd do when I died. Maybe offer to cook for the children's Home for the Homeless. Yes, that'd be just like her.

I spared a glance at my parents, wondering if they were happy now. My father looked upset. This surprised me. It wasn't easy to notice on his hard face, but, as that was all I could ever remember seeing, I noticed the difference immediately. He lips were further down than they usually were, frowning then. My mother didn't seem very upset; she met my eyes for the first time in five years and grinned at me. I felt the tears slipping down my cheeks before I actually grasped the fact that I was crying. I had to laugh at myself. My mother'd hated me for a long time, but I didn't think she would smile at the thought of me dying.

"I love you _so_ much I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." I guess we both know now.

I went ahead and shot her a grin through the tears, then turned and walked onto the stage. People were staring at me now. Of course, they wouldn't know what I was thinkng, they just knew I was laughing and crying at the same time. Somehow, I didn't really care what they thought; it didn't really matter anymore.

Kern was smiling brightly now. "We have two spectacular tributes: Alessandra Kingston and Alexis Sterling, but I have to ask - are there any volunteers?"

Hope started bubbling up inside my gut like a terrifying disease. District 1 always had volunteers - _always_. Someone was bound to volunteer for me; someone who'd die for the chance to honor themselves.

He peered around with eager eyes, "Alessandra first. Are there any brave young women out there willing to take her place?"

The reaction was instantaneous; murmurs ripped through the crowd and several girls weren't even trying to hide their laughter. Did they hate this Alessandra so much? I could feel the hope dwindling in my chest; there was a chance they wouldn't volunteer for me either. Kern's voice cut through my thoughts.

"No one? Alright then, on to Mr. Sterling - no relation to the mayor is there?" He glanced round at me for a moment but turned away before I could answer. "No, can't be, can there? Back to the matter at hand, are there any young men willing to volunteer in the place of Alexis?"

He'd clasped his hand on my shoulder then; I wanted to throw it off and screamat him, but I clamped my mouth tightly shut. He hadn't meant to do it; he was from the Capitol - he didn't understand the effect those words would have on the district.

"No, can't be-" he'd said, but it was too late. Heads in the crowd were turning, making comparisons, sneering at me; the half-raised hands were lowering again. My hair was my mother's, my eyes my father's -

There would be no volunteers for the son of the mayor.

* * *

It was only a moment or two before I was escorted to the Capitol building. This was where I'd be held until I had to get on the train; this was also where I'd see any visitors. I wondered if Venice would come. The drapes were nice, but were they big enough to hide behind? Probably not.

I sighed at my fragmented thoughts and collapsed onto the nice sofa in the room. I wiped my face on it and snickered, because this furniture belonged to the Capitol, and the Capitol would be the death of me. I sat bored for a few minutes, trying not to think, before the door burst open.

"Oh Alexis! I can't believe you were really reaped! Oh, I told you not to jinx it, didn't I?" She was extremely upset, tears were running down her face and her hair was all over the place. I jumped up immediately and hugged her tightly.

"Hey Veni, don't cry, okay? You're making me cry again." And she really was. The tears that had stopped started up again and I sniffled with my face pressed into her pretty, black dress.

"Alright now, enough of that then, huh? We'll both stop crying, isn't that right?" She pulled away and gave me a watery smile. I wiped my eyes, but the tears didn't stop. This whole crying thing upset me even more. I hadn't been unable to control myself in years. My entire life was shifting out of control. Maybe I should just let everything go. If I was going to die, why shouldn't I say whaever I wanted to before I did.

"I wish you were my mom Venice. Then maybe I'd have been happy before I died." The opening of the door signaled the end of her session. I grabbed her dress, and sobbed out," I don't want to die Venice - I don't want to die."

"Try to win Alexis, please, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." She smoothed my hair down, and hugged me again before the peacekeepers could drag her out of the room. I couldn't stop my body from shaking anymore. I was going to die, I knew that much, and now, like my mother, that would be the last thing Venice ever said to me.

* * *

Train Ride - Elizabeth's POV:

I'd barely managed to pull myself together before the peacekeepers were back, escorting me to the train that would take me to the Capitol. I wondered briefly who the boy from my district was, as I'd stopped paying attention after Sana's name was called, but then I realized it didn't matter. If I was going to win, this boy had to die. It didn't matter who it was. If he was strong: I'd try to make an alliance. If he was weak: I'd ignore him as much as I could. Heaven knows I'd be crazy to get to know the guy; I hoped that at least I'd never spoken to him.

When I got to the train I climbed in to be greeted by my escort, Kern Fairbane, my mentor, Ivory Keene, and a cute, little boy; a 12 year old. The boy from my district was a 12 year old child that I'd never in a million years be able to hurt. I almost groaned out loud, but managed to stop myself; it was one thing to feel weakness, another to show it. It was easy to tell he'd been crying. I wondered who he was for a moment; surely I'd remember him, if only for the brightness of his hair. Kern rushed up to shake my hand.

"Alessandra. How nice to see you. We were just getting ready for an early dinner. Would you like to join us?" It might take a while to get used to be called by my sister's name, but in the Games, no one would be calling my name much anyways. I remembered to nod and followed them down the expensive looking train until we got the equally expensive looking dining room. I was almost afraid to touch anything.

I took a quick look around and realized there quite a few windows... and that we were moving. When had we taken off? At least I didn't have to worry about motion sickness, I got sick enough as it was without having to worry about that.

"Alright kids, first lesson, eat as much food as you can before you get to the arena. Starting right now you have to put on as much extra weight as possible, because there might not be a lot of food in the arena." Our mentor, Ivory, had said this as we all sat down. Strangely, she looked a lot like Kern. They both had curly hair, pale skin, though hers was natural, and brown coloring. However, her eyes were a dark brown where his were light, and her hair a light brown where his was dark. She looked very pretty despite the casual shorts and t-shirt she was wearing.

She was tense, one of those winners that never quite relaxed after the Games, but she wasn't mean, just straight forward and honest. I decided to take her advice and went for an amazing smelling soup to my right. The litttle boy, whose name I still didn't know, was moving straight in for the desert. I chuckled a little, and he grinned at me. What, with the childish innocence, pretty face, and overly friendly disposition, that would surely be his strategy: charm people to death. Literally. I couldn't stop the smile I shot at him.

About five minutes after dinner had started, Kern decided to fill the silence. "So Alessandra, how _did_ you get your dress so dirty?"

"Nothing much, just rolling around on the ground." He looked offended, but I couldn't stop laughing at the look on his face. People from the capitol were way too uptight. The kid seemed to agree with me, because he was giggling behind his hand; somehow I doubted he realized how adorable that was.

Ivory didn't seem to think it was very funny either. She narrowed her eyes at me, "Lesson 2, don't offend the Capitol citizens. They're your key to survival. Without them you will die, guaranteed." The two of us stopped laughing pretty quickly. I felt a little bit like a scorned child - acted like one too; I showed no mercy to the tiny, green trees on my plate after that. They might have been screaming for mercy if they could speak.

After dinner was through, Ivory and Kern were quick to leave the room, something about the two of us bonding... I wasn't sure if that was the best idea. The kid seemed to hesitate too, he looked scared even. Scared of me? I had to laugh. I'm not _that_ scary, especially compared to half of the freaky people that'll be in these games.

Ten minutes later I was about to explode, start talking about anything, everything; you have no idea how hard it is to keep quite for this long, but the little boy beat me to it. Somehow, he'd gotten right next to me while I hadn't been paying attention. I really needed to work on that.

"Hi. I'm Alexis. You're Alessandra, right?" He was peeking up at me through his lashes, like he wasn't sure how I'd take him talking to me. I was tempted for a moment to take that angle and say something mean, really mean, but it was unlikely to help me with this kid. He had a very small chance of winning, and I didn't want to make his last few hours of peace any harder than they had to be.

"Yeah, that's me. Alessandra. Alessandra Kingston. I have a twin sister named Elizabeth. She's really nice, so I'm glad she wasn't the one reaped." I prattled on for a little while on that line of thought. The kid, Alexis, was staring at me. Maybe, probably, I shouldn't be so... defensive? No, just not so open; there was sure to be someone in these games who could read me like a book. By this time I'd drifted off and stopped speaking, but Alexis didn't seem to mind the mini speech.

"I saw her too, you guys look just alike." He stopped for a second there, kicking his feet, then he looked up under his lashes again. "Who was the guy that was chasing you? He seemed upset. That was your boyfriend wasn't it?"

I almost choked on the drink I'd been sipping. "No! No, he's just a really good friend of mine. No. No, he's not my boyfriend. No, that'd-" I cut myself off there, talk about word vomit. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Alexis was snickering behind his hand, so I flicked him upside his head.

"Shut up." He just laughed harder.

"Sure, sure. And my name's Alexander." He shook his head, cackling like a creepy, old witch. I personally didn't get what was funny - Must be a guy thing. Or maybe just a little kid thing. I wondered for a second if he was scared on the inside. Surely he must be, he'd been crying before, but it didn't show now; he was awfully good at hiding his emotions. That might have been for the best. I noticed suddenly that Alexis was looking up at me again; I was starting to think it'd be best to avoid listening to him when he did this.

"Your mother was screaming. When your name was called I mean. She must have loved you a lot." He said this as if it was surprising. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"My mother loves me and Sa-, she loves me and Elizabeth more than her own life. She'd do anything for us. I guess what hurts her the most is that she _can't_ do anything for me now. It's up to me to survive, and she can't help me any." It wasn't surprising that this made him sad, but I wasn't expecting him to lose his energy so quickly. He'd quit bouncing around and was slumped in his chair staring at the ceiling.

"I wish my mother loved me." This hurt to hear. I could feel that familiar ache rising up in my chest again. Was there anyway his mother _couldn't_ love him? Surely she'd told him she did during her visit.

"Don't say that Alexis. Just because she didn't say she did doesn't mean she doesn't. Emotions always run high when a kid is reaped. She might have been so upset that she couldn't bring herself to say it." He just laughed. This laugh was different from his others, hard and defeated... resigned even.

"My mother wasn't upset - heck, I've never seen her so happy in a long time. She hated me you know. Wished I would die for wh-" He cut himself off and glared at the ceiling, "My mother didn't love me."

I had to swallow the urge to cry. This sweet kid, barely twelve years old, was being shipped off to what was surely going to be his death and his parents had let him feel like they didn't want him to come back. My blood started boiling. If I ever won these Games I'd find those idiots and give them a piece of my mind.

"Who are your parents? I've never seen you around before." For a second I didn't think he was going to answer, but he shrugged.

"Everyone knows them. Everyone. They just don't know about me." I raised my eyebrow at him, and he rubbed at his silver bracelet before continuing. "The mayor, Hayes Sterling, and his beautiful wife, Alexandria. My mother and father."

The mayor and his wife? Sterling. I can't believe I didn't make the connection.

"You can't be serious! They never had any children. I thought they were nice people." He just looked away from me.

"They had two." I wanted to ask him more, ask him anything - anything to distract him from these thoughts; I didn't want him to feel bad. That's exactly why I didn't. I needed to stop - I could not get attached. If I win, he can't. I have to win these games. So I let him be, and eventually he stood up, yawning.

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Night Alessandra. Sorry." I glanced pointedly at him. "For making you feel bad I mean. I didn't mean to tell you everything... I just couldn't stop talking." He looked down at the floor, then up at me, smiling.

"You and I, we really know how to put our feet in our mouth." Confusion...

"Our feet? In our mouth? I'm not nearly that flexible, what are you on about Lexi?" I slapped my hand over my mouth... oh gods, a nickname? Great, really great. He just snickered and skipped out of the room. Talk about mood swings.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning I was sick. This was nothing new to me; I get sick a lot, but it was there, bent over the toilet, that I finally realized there was a shower, like an actual shower, in the bathroom. I was practically giddy. If I died in these Games, at least I got to take a shower before then. When I got out and brushed through the tangles in my hair, I grabbed a nice pink shirt and some tight-fitting jeans. I'd always liked this color pink - a soft baby pink, but I'd never been able to wear it much in District 1; soft colors like that get dirty too quickly to wear casually, and there's no other time I could really wear the color; mother wouldn't buy me any dresses in pink - "It clashes with your hair." She was right of course, but I liked it anyways.

I walked out to breakfast and realized everyone was already here, even Alexis. He was really hard to miss this morning. I'd never realized how white his hair was until this moment. I suppose even with the mayor as your father you wouldn't have a shower in your house, and not the best soap either, but when I say his hair is white, I mean it really is white; It'd looked like a bleached blonde before, like his moth - like Alexandria's hair. The woman wasn't his mother, far from it.

I realized suddenly that I'd been staring, because everyone else was staring at me as well. I cleared my throat, moved to the seat beside Lexi and started chatting up a storm. I could play off awkwardness quite well - or so I'd thought. Ivory brought the subject back round to his hair as soon as I'd finished saying whatever nonsense that'd been spewing out of my mouth.

"I'm sure we've all noticed by now that we've got another situation. Isn't that right?" She winked playfully at me, and I thought maybe she wasn't as bad as I'd been thinking she was. "So Alexis, Lesson 3: the first thing you need to do when you get into the arena is fall on the ground and roll around in the dirt. I'm sure Alessandra could give you a few pointers there."

I grinned at her, but Alexis furrowed his brow. "But what if somebody kills me while I'm rolling on the ground?" I'd have laughed, except he seemed genuinely uncertain. Was he always so naive? I was beginning to get an idea of what would kill him in the arena, and I didn't like it, not one bit.

"No Alexis, scratch that rule. Lesson 3 is run. Run as far as you can, then roll in the dirt, and then find water." She'd obviously come to the same conclusion as I had. "Don't trust anybody kid, even if they seem trustworthy, don't even trust Alessandra. If you team up with anybody, do _not_ trust them, okay?"

Alexis' green eyes were wide, confused, but he nodded and poked around in his plate muttering, "I won't. Not even Alessandra; she'd probably kill me in my sleep anyways, the jerk."

We all had to chuckle at that, but again, the previous good mood had been tainted and the conversation fell flat. I glanced around at Kern suddenly. Why wasn't he saying anything? I almost choked on the waffle I'd been chewing. He was slumped over the table leaning on arm; his normally pristine hair was notted and frizzy. There were giant bags under his eyes.

"Kern... uhm, what happened to you?" I tried my best not to stare at him, I really did, but I didn't do a very good job. Alexis snickered from my right.

"He forgot to put his hair-care products in last night." I snickered too.

It wasn't long before everyone was finished with breakfast and we were sitting on pins and needles awaiting our arrival at the Capitol. Another half and hour of tense silence went by before Ivory spoke.

"Alright kids, in a few minutes we're going to enter the Capitol. What I want you two to do is stand in front of one of the windows on the left side of the train, and when we pull into the station start waving. Try to win some people over; remember, sponsors are your best friends." I shared a glance with Alexis and we both got up and went to stand by the window.

When we finally pulled into the station, I couldn't stop the surprised gasp that escaped my mouth. I'd never expected there to be so many people. It almost looked as if someone had taken a rainbow and dumped it on a group of exceptionally beautiful people. They all looked so bizarre that I couldn't stop gawking at them.

At the clearing of Ivory's throat I quickly closed my mouth, only to beam and start waving at these strange people - the people I'd despised for most of my life. When Alexis grabbed hold of my free hand and squeezed it tightly, I hesitated only a moment before squeezing back - I'd made my first alliance.

I just really hope it doesn't get me killed.

* * *

Feedback Appreciated,

Luvakatsuki3


	3. Update - Sorry!

Alright people - This Is Not A Chapter. Sorry.

I do have a good reason... And I know you'll say if it'd have been on time in the first place it wouldn't have made a difference now, but I had reasons for it being late also. But anyways - excuses, I know - my brother, and yes I hate him too right now, was sick from school today.

But my uncle, who was watching him, decided to be nice and let him get on our laptop (as in him and I share it). So I got home right, and the laptop is nowhere to be found. Wanna guess why? He spilled soup on it... :/

I feel bad for him, being sick and all, but at the same time I'm mad at him for eating soup and doing who knows what on the laptop at the same time. But back to the point, my laptop no longer works - I'm on my dad's - and can ya'll make one guess as to what was on that laptop? Just one? :P

You guessed right! D2 Reapings. I'm probably more upset than you guys are, seeing as I have to start again from scratch. :/

Thankfully, I printed out all the tribute information forever ago - I'm just organized like that - and so you guys don't have to resend it or anything (it'd be in my inbox anyways if that was the case). But yeah...

So again, really, really sorry, but I have to re-write the chapter. I'm not gonna be able to write it exactly the same as it was, and it'll take a while because it just takes time to write, but anyways I'm gonna get a kickstart on that today, and I hope you guys aren't too upset. :?

* * *

Please Don't Hold It Against Me,

Luvakatsuki3


	4. District 2 - Reapings and Train Ride

A.n.

Okay, so I know, this chapter is like eons beyond late, but I do have numerous excuses (basically I was procrastinating to the extreme - this was kinda hard to write, kind of). I'm gonna spare you listening to them, and just go on with the story - eventually.

I'm not sure I'm happy with the editing, but the Beta ended up falling through, so I had to do it myself again. I don't mind much, but there's so much more other people can see in your writing than you can. Plus, just a warning, this chapter is even longer than the first one. :P

Oh, and I'm pretty sure the lines are all messed up, I hate that, but nothing I can do about it. :P

Anyways, can I just thank mangesboy01 for pushing me to get this done? It'd probably have sat around in limbo for ages without his enthusiasm, so I appreciate it. :P

* * *

Frigg Ashlar POV:

Screaming - terrified screaming pleads escaped them when I slid my blade across their throats. They screamed for air, but only found blood filling their empty lungs. The warm blood gushed like a geyser, splashing my face, running down my neck; it felt amazing. The boom of the cannons: once, twice... six more times before my eyes snapped open.

The dream was over, done with, and shivers racked my body, adrenaline rushing like a drug in my veins. Throwing my blanket aside, I jumped out of bed, pacing, and ran my hands down my neck - no blood. I pulled myself together quickly; no blood - there was never any blood, but one day, one day soon, there would be.

Three years from today, Reaping Day, I'm going to volunteer. Just three more years, and my dreams would come true. I felt a smile spreading across my face.

"Frigg! Start getting ready; you have one hour. Hurry up!" My father's deep voice boomed through the wall.

An hour; much more time than he usually gave me to get ready, but today was an exception - I had to look my best. I ran through my normal routine: shower, hair, and clothes. When I finished I appraised myself in the steamy mirror. I sneered a little, as I always did when I dressed up - Shiny, cascading hair, dull hazel eyes, and a multitude of freckles. I was pretty, very pretty even, but the freckles, the thickness of my hair, my nose - all of it was too much like my mother. The mother that had abandoned me when I needed her. I turned my eyes away from the mirror and left the room; I don't need her anymore.

My father was waiting impatiently in the living room, but his lips twitched when I walked in; a bit of approval. He was looking as good as he normally did... which wasn't all that great; he was dressed in his pristine peacekeeper uniform, but it was too tight, the fabric stretching tight over his large stomach. His best features where his dark mustache and his hazel eyes - like mine, but darker. He stood from the chair he was sat in, and headed for the door, pulling it open.

"Let's go now, I've got to make a stop at the training center before we go to the square" He rubbed at his mustache as he said this. "None of the male volunteers are coming through today. They want to wait until they're stronger, bah, an excuse if I ever heard one!"

He spat on the ground and made a beeline towards the south end of the district - where the training center was at. I kept up with him easily, wondering how he managed to keep such a pace being as robust as he is.

"I'm not going to volunteer either." I made the statement, knowing already that he had some excuse waiting; he didn't disappoint me.

"You would if nobody else was going to and we got some pansy for a tribute." I smiled brightly at him, he was right of course. "I'm the one who recruited you - I know this stuff."

I should have expected that comment; he's extremely proud of the fact that he's the recruiter around here. Every peacekeeper wants the job, but he was the one who got it; I had a feeling this was because he's not in shape enough to be a good peacekeeper in any other way, but I kept this to myself. He'd recruited me after all. I'd been a weak little girl, weak and small - I'm better off this way; I'm thankful everyday that my father forced me into training. Being strong was worth it, worth the pain, worth being different from everyone else, worth my mother leaving me. Being strong is exciting - knowing you have the ability to kill someone easily; it's a thrill like nothing else.

My thoughts drifted off as we reached the training grounds. I wasn't exactly surprised at all the teenagers who were training on Reaping Day; I'd be one of them if my dad didn't think it made you look desperate - like you didn't think you were ready yet. I agreed with him on this, like I agreed with him on everything else. Everyone here looked insecure; no doubt, they were. They were sweating just a little too much as they handled their weapons, their eyes gleaming a little too brightly. Scared - all of them; pathetic.

I scoffed at them as we passed into the building. The older males had claimed this spot for their own - though I still trained in here - and they always gathered here on Reaping Day. My dad's mustache twitched as he tried to keep his face smooth; he failed horribly, and it wasn't long before the two groups quit staring at each other and started shouting things out, trying to speak above the other.

"SILENCE!" My father's face was red. "Disrespectful. I've done my best for each of you, and you can't even stop with your flimsy pride long enough to hear me. Listen!"

The boys looked ashamed, as they should be, and the color in my father's face cooled a little bit; they were silent.

"Tell me. Tell me why you have decided to 'sit this one out.'" He bit through the words bitterly. "What excuses do you have?"

For a moment, none of them said anything, but then one of the boys - Mars, I think - spoke up.

"Look, Vice, have you seen the tributes from District 1? We had to watch the reapings, remember. It was District 1 - where are the careers? Huh?" His brown eyes were drawn together. "How can you expect us to want to be in the games if even the career districts end up having weak tributes? We can't group up with that kid, and that girl - she's definitely not career material."

What an idiot. I rolled my eyes and spoke, "Who cares? You're more likely to win that way anyways. The career alliance isn't supposed to be some stupid fallback protection. You're just a bunch of babies that thought they'd have someone to protect them in the games."

They were quick to protest, and obviously too defensive. My father waved his hand and they fell silent.

"Frigg is right. Were you all expecting a guaranteed alliance?" They averted their eyes angrily; they weren't happy to be called out like this. My father looked disgusted, same as I felt.

"I told you - I told you when you agreed to this that nothing in the Games is dependable. Were you not listening? Filthy maggots. I wish I could have you all executed. You talk about those tributes from District 1 like you're better than them, but you're nothing, cowering because they're not big, bad careers that can protect you."

The boys were looking angry, defiant. I couldn't believe their nerve.

"This is about honor, not your lives. What's one life, even if it's yours, to give up for the honor of the District." My words were calm, but they had an edge to them. "Just because we always have volunteers, that doesn't mean the rest of our District is cut out for this. Our district is only considered strong because our volunteers are strong. And you, Hod, all that nonsense you spouted about being the best in the district? You're worse than the rest of them."

Hod glared coldly at me from the back of the group, but I didn't care. I'd never been one to make any friends, and I wouldn't start today. My father placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"Let's go Frigg. They aren't worth the breath we're wasting." He turned on his heel and exited through the door, not waiting for me to follow him. I smiled at the blatant way he disregarded the boys in this room; he'd always hated people who went back on their word, like these boys. When I dragged my eyes back to them they were glaring at me. Somewhere inside my heart felt like it was being squeezed, but I pushed the feeling to the back of my mind and smirked at them.

"This is the last year two of you are eligible, the best time for the rest of you to volunteer - if you even had a chance at winning, it'd be this year, assuming the rest of the career districts fall through like District 1 did. You'd better rethink your actions." I looked each of them in the face, judging their reactions before I continued, "If you don't change your minds, don't bother coming back to the training center. You won't be welcome."

I followed my father's example and left on my heel, ignoring their angry protests. I started at a slow jog and caught up to him within a few moments. He greeted me with a loud laugh.

"Did you give them a piece of your mind? That's my girl!" He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and continued down the road. Another reason training was worth it: My father loved me, loved me as much as he'd despised me before I turned 10. I was the perfect daughter now; I smiled a secret little smile and wrapped my arm as far as I could around his waist.

We continued that way for a few comfortable minutes before disconnecting ourselves; affection isn't something we show in public - affection is weak. Still, this small show made me happy inside, giddy feelings bubbling inside my gut, but I did my best not to show it.

We arrived fairly early to the square in front of the Capitol building, and there weren't very many people there yet.

"Alright Frigg - you know the drill, if we get an incompetent tribute and no one else volunteers, you go for it, hear me?" His eyes were like steel, drilling into me, and the former content feelings turned serious. I nodded sharply.

"I know dad. I won't let you down." His eyes softened again and he gripped my shoulder a moment before walking off the join the other peacekeepers. I turned away and made my way to the sign-in. Peacekeeper Tyr Whytt was sitting behind it, and he smiled brightly at me when he saw me approaching. It wasn't like we were friends; he'd gone to school with me back when I still went, though I hadn't been for years now, and he'd become a peacekeeper as soon as he was old enough - more of my dad's work. He'd never liked me, nor I him, but it was my father who'd recruited him, so he made an effort to be friendly - trying to use me to make friends with my dad.

"Hey Frigg! So are you going to volunteer this year? You're always so impatient to get in there and start killing stuff." He smiled brightly, but I didn't return it.

"Mind your own business." His icy eyes stared dejectedly down at the sign-in station before he looked up smiling again.

"Hey, well, good luck out there." I was tempted grab his collar and drag him over the table for that, but I resisted.

"I don't need luck, Tyr. Luck is for the weak." I took a step closer to the table. "Luck is for the crybaby, twelve year olds that are going to die the moment they step foot into the arena."

Another step and I was leaning over the table, glaring straight into his wide, frozen, blue eyes.

"Luck is for those pathetic little girls that drool over you because you're the youngest peacekeeper in our district - and the most likely to get killed if anything important ever happened. I do not need luck." I stepped back from the table and crossed my arms, waiting for his reaction. He ran a slightly shaking hand through his hair - I loved how easy it was to get to him - and glanced over my shoulder a moment before meeting my eyes; he made one last ditch attempt at conversation.

"My brother's got a thing for you, you know? Might wanna watch out." He waggled his fingers at me like he'd said some spooky horror story, and I rolled my eyes at him pointedly. I didn't know who his brother was, and I really didn't care; if Tyr's brother is anything like him then I don't want to know him.

"I don't care. Sign me in before I tell my father you're using the sign-in station to hit on susceptible girls; he won't like that." I glared at him and his smile faltered. I almost smiled when he started rushing to sign me in, but I managed to keep my amusement to myself.

"Alright, Frigg, go on now. Tell your father I said hi, will you?" He flashed a small grin, but I ignored him and walked to join the other girls my age.

I very rarely associated with any of them, and I didn't care too much for their high pitched giggling - what was so funny anyways? The one closest to me turned to me with glowing eyes; I immediately disliked her. She had bright blue eyes, long brown hair, and... crooked teeth, smiling at me as if I was her best friend.

"Oh my God! Did you see the way Tyr was looking at you? He's like so hot! Are you guys friends? What were you talking about?" She was one of the formerly addressed "drooling girls", bouncing with her hair and spit flying everywhere. She came towards me and began to put her nasty, grubby hands on me; I nipped that one in the bud real quick.

I shrugged back out of her reach and fixed her with a frigid glare. "Do you want to be my friend? I'd suggest you fix your teeth first - I wouldn't be able to focus on you properly if I was always staring at your snaggle tooth."

She shot me an offended look, her hand raised to cover her teeth, "My teeth aren't that bad are they? Did Tyr say something about it?"

I'd been willing to let it drop with my first insult, but her reply frustrated me to no end; how could someone revolve their life so fixedly around a guy - an idiotic guy at that? I pretended for a moment to look around for eavesdroppers, then motioned her forward. She leaned in and I cupped my hands around her ear.

"He said he'd never date a girl that had such an ugly smile." I leaned away and studied the way her face fell - I wouldn't be stopping there, "You know - I could fix them for you!"

Her face lit up like I'd promised her a date with the boy - how gullible could you get?

"You can? Really? That'd be like so awesome." I nodded and flashed my own perfect teeth at her, leaning in close to her face.

"Would you like me to straighten them, or would you prefer me to knock them down your throat? I'd be happy to do either free of charge."

I was very satisfied when she nearly tripped over herself trying to back away from me. I had to smile as the entire group of girls shot me scared looks and pushed their way to the back of the growing crowd of girls - apparently the conversation with Tyr held up a lot of people. I snickered to myself; as lonely as it was sometimes for people to be afraid of you, it was also a very, very good thing when used correctly.

It wasn't long before the music of the Capitol movie started playing; I dutifully ignored the video - I don't believe in it anyways - and waited calmly for it to be over. I wondered briefly who the volunteer would be this year. I didn't know the names of any of the girls who trained at the training center. The only names I do know are the two boys that trained inside the building with me. I looked around and immediately eyed a large, strong-looking girl with her hair cut short. She was flat-chested and boyish, but oddly pretty. She and her friends, a large group of boys, were nudging at each other, many of them clapping her on the shoulder as if congratulating her; yes, she'd be the volunteer. I wondered briefly how no one had noticed her among the guys, but pushed it from my mind when the sound of the movie died down.

Our district's escort rushed onto the stage and grinned largely, showing off his teeth, which he'd dyed red since last year; it was oddly disturbing, but not really surprising coming from him. In all other ways, Talon Privick looked the same as he had last year. His long black hair was braided along his skull to mimic a crown, his surgically enhanced eyes matched his dyed teeth, and his broad shoulders were draped in a black ensemble. His eager personality contrasted greatly to his dark style, but I remember when he was still fat and he'd worn bright neon colors of all shades - I'd take the black over that eye sore any day.

Talon spoke quickly, amazingly not stumbling on his words, "Hey District 2! It's been a while, yeah? I hope you're all as excited as I am this year. It's going to be so cool, but I have a feeling this is going to be a unique year."

He was met by joyful agreement; everyone in the District was fond of Talon. As much as some of them hated the Games, hated the Capitol, Talon's enthusiasm was hard to ignore and some of them had a soft spot for the man. He was one of the few people I could see myself getting along with, however, I could also see how funny it'd be to mess with the man. He was cheerful, but he'd never dealt well with any of the more sadistic careers very well; if there was one thing I knew for sure about myself, it was that I was sadistic - still to be seen whether that's good for me or not.

He practically skipped across the stage and snatched a paper from the girls' reaping bowl. "Ladies first! How exciting is this?"

His eyes sparkled as he unfolded the slip of paper. "Okay. Listen up now! The female tribute is Frigg Ashlar!"

I felt my heart skip a beat; I wasn't sure if it was excitement or a twisted kind of fear. Whatever it was, I ignored it and made my way calmly toward the stage. I hadn't planned on volunteering until I was eighteen, but I'd been impatient for my chance for a long time now - this certainly wasn't a bad thing. I smiled briefly as I looked out at all the smiling faces of the crowd; they knew I would bring honor to this district. There was no need for the pretty, boyish girl from earlier; I wouldn't be accepting volunteers.

Talon looked at me appreciatively, "Frigg, is it? You look beautiful today!"

There was suddenly a check against him in my book; I'd never liked the short, black dress I was wearing today, and whether he really liked it or not, I didn't appreciate the forty-year-old man complimenting it. I narrowed my eyes at him, thankful for the way his eyes red eyes bulged and turned quickly in the other direction; his step was slightly subdued as he moved toward the other end of the stage, towards the boys' bowl.

My eyes found my father's as he did this, and I was happy to see him looking distastefully at Talon. We'd discussed briefly once how my looks could be used as a tool in the arena, an awkward conversation at best, but I was glad the discussion didn't seem to apply to life outside the Games. His eyes slid over to mine and he winked at me, grinning.

When Talon started speaking I turned my gaze back to him. "Now for the boys! The tribute is Hod Ladner!"

I laughed openly at that; the coward hadn't had to volunteer after all. I found him quickly in the sea of potential tributes and felt the edges of my mouth turning up into a smile at the way he was glaring hatefully at me - it wasn't like I'd made this happen. My smile faded when I heard a deep voice pipe up.

"I volunteer." My eyes snapped from Hod's large, surprised ones to a pair of icy blue ones. For a scary moment, I thought it was Tyr - how lame would that be - but the hair was wrong; Tyr's was a light wavy brown, this guy's was a bright, blinding blonde. The momentary confusion had me glaring at the boy, but he didn't seem to care. His eyes were boring into mine, lazily almost, and twinkling like stars; this only made me glare more - nobody normal meets my eyes when I'm glaring at them, and I didn't like it, not at all.

Talon clapped enthusiastically when the kid got on stage, and practically threw him the microphone - which he caught smoothly, "Introduce yourself to the District please!"

He looked around briefly before turning back to me, as calmly as before.

"Hey. My name's Colten. Colten Whytt." He flashed me a grin before giving the microphone back to Talon. Suddenly my eyes were drawn to his hands, and I had to smirk. I'd thought he wasn't affected by my glare, but he must have been; there were tons of small, red crescents littering his palms - he'd been digging his nails into his skin.

I glanced back up to see him grinning at me, but it wasn't the same as the first one; the grin was loaded - scary in the promises it made me. I'd never been more thankful for my ability to keep my visage cool and collected, or angry and glaring, but whatever; no one had ever made my heart race like that, ever. In that one moment, that grin had seemed to promise pain, and a lot of it.

Maybe I liked to train, maybe I was excited to be in the Games, but it'd never crossed my mind that there'd be someone who wanted to hurt me as much as I wanted to hurt them.

* * *

It wasn't long before I was sitting in a velvet-covered room in the Justice Building. I'd sat on a comfortable sofa, crossing my legs to try and stop myself from shaking them nervously. I wasn't nervous about the games, no, I had a fair shot at winning those, but I was nervous about who I'd be entering them with. The guy, Colten, was nothing special - I'd seen him around the training grounds, but had never heard anything special about him. I felt shamed that I had let him get to me like this; a smile was no good reason to feel this way - I must have been reading too much into it.

The opening of the large, wooden doors was a welcome relief from these thoughts. My dad stepped in smiling at me, and I'd never appreciated his strong and self-assured aura more than I did then. I jumped up and walked over to him, hoping dearly that my doubts didn't show on my face.

"Looks like District 2 might have another winner, doesn't it?" His confidence made me feel a little better and I returned his smile.

"Yeah, I'll definitely win this thing." The shaking in my voice surprised me and I prayed that my father hadn't caught it - He had of course - I was equally surprised that he wasn't mad at me. He gripped my shoulders tightly, his face turning serious.

"You saw it didn't you? Tell me you saw it Frigg - tell me I can trust you to see it in other tributes as well." I wasn't sure he was talking about Colten, but I nodded anyways. He seemed relieved.

"Good. Don't you play with that boy, you hear me? Don't trust him. He'll try to get under your skin, but don't you let him. Do you understand me Frigg? Don't trust him." He shook my shoulders firmly, and I nodded sharply; what could he have done to make my dad scared of him?

"I won't dad." I took a moment to watch the way his face relaxed before I continued. "What's wrong with him? I won't trust him, but I don't understand why he gave me that kind of feeling."

My father's gaze softened a little. "I forget sometimes that you're still a child; no matter how strong you've grown to be you're still only fifteen."

He rubbed the back of his head for a moment, staring warily at me - wondering how to put it I guess. I felt my frustration channeling itself to my hands, and I clenched them into tight fists.

"I'm not some stupid little girl that doesn't know anything about the world. You made sure of that, remember? I can take whatever you throw at me." He looked properly ashamed and moved his eyes from mine.

"You're right. You may be young, but you're not a child - not anymore." He ran his fingers along his mustache and turned back to me.

"He's - Well, he's unstable. It's not easy to tell, not easy at all, but sometimes when he smiles it shows in his eyes." He stopped a moment and squeezed my shoulders. "Don't let this shake your confidence Frigg. You can kill this kid, I know you can. You're going to win Frigg."

I hid my impatience well, and repeated his words. "I'm going to win dad. I know I can, no matter what you say. Just tell me."

His eyes were hard again, "We can't prove it - there was never enough evidence, but Colten Whytt - Colten Whytt murdered his parents. He murdered his parents in cold blood when he was eight and he got away with it."

* * *

Colten Whytt POV:

I sat bored with my feet up on the kitchen table, leaning precariously back in my chair. I wondered for a moment how far I'd have to lean to fall back; I was about to test it when Tyr came rushing into the room. My eyes followed him as he rushed from place to place, picking up his white peacekeeper's jacket from the floor, grabbing a piece of buttered bread, and running out the front door.

I didn't bother returning to what I'd been thinking; he'd be back in a moment. Five seconds later he reappeared in the door breathing loudly and doubled over, reaching his hand out towards me grasping at thin air. I rolled my eyes at the overdramatic fool, but stood from the squeaking wooden chair and grabbed the glass of water on the table.

"Col - Colten, could you get me a gl - glass of water?" I handed him the glass in my hand - my brother had always been extremely predictable. I pulled out the chair opposite mine before sitting back down. Tyr downed the glass in several large gulps before plopping down across from me trying to catch his breath.

I turned my gaze away from him and to the open kitchen window. A bird flashed across my vision and my hand twitched - itching to wrap around the annoying creature's neck. My brother's clearing throat drew my eyes back to his matching blue ones.

"What?" I snapped at him, and he withdrew a tiny bit. I didn't like talking - not to him, not to anyone. He should have known that by now, but rejection never seemed to stick in his thick skull - a brief list of objects that would floated through my mind, but I forced it out of my mind, focusing on what Tyr was saying.

"I have to work the sign-in station today. That's why I was rushing; I need to be there-"He glanced down at his watch, then smiled sheepishly at me, " - five minutes ago."

I resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose and resorted to scratching the finger tips of my right hand along the tip of the screw sticking out of my chair. "Then leave."

He got up and stretched, grinning at me, "Had to say goodbye to my little brother first! You could still get reaped you know."

I rolled my eyes at him and watched him make his way out the door, waving at me; I lifted my left hand in farewell, shooting him a bird when he was out of sight. I pondered for a second if he knew how lucky he was to be a peacekeeper; not only did it keep him out of my hair - and therefore breathing - but he'd never have gotten the job if it wasn't for me. I kicked back in my chair again, reveling in the protesting shrieks of the wooden joints.

Tyr only became a peacekeeper because he's my brother. It was as simple as that; the peacekeepers - as against their reputation as it was - were afraid I'd hurt him. They wanted to keep an eye on him, make sure I didn't do anything to him. They chose a great time too; I was right on the verge of gouging his eyes out with a dull spoon when he'd got accepted. Just the thought of his eyes staring into mine, trying to read into me, made my blood boil - I ran my nails along my arm to calm myself; getting angry wouldn't help me - my anger was the problem.

I remember the first time the anger became too much - too great for me to handle. I can still hear my father's blood gurgling in his throat, my hands buried in the deep, bloody slash over his heart - I can still see my mother trying to scream as I forced her head beneath the bathwater, her arms flailing weakly; I can still remember how amazing it felt to hold their lives in my hands - to hold their lives in my hands and crush them like the writhing worms they were.

I smiled at the memories; that day had been the best day of my life - I would never have a better one. When I was still young, I'd regretted killing them. I'd been afraid someone would find out it was me and take me away; I was afraid of leaving Tyr. And they did find out, but the peacekeepers couldn't prove anything. No, they couldn't prove it, and they couldn't execute an eight-year-old without proof.

They'd done their best to warn Tyr though, tried to make him blame me - blame me like they do, but he didn't listen to them; he believed in me - believed in what I'd done. That was when I decided I wasn't wrong for killing them. Tyr knew I did it - he'd seen me, watched me, but he didn't stop me - he stood by me, even when everyone else turned away. From the moment I realized that, I stood by my actions; I would never again regret killing my abusive father, and my morphling-addicted mother who'd never tried to stop him.

But I wasn't left with no regrets. I regret everyday that those feelings never went away; the hatred, the resentment, the uncontrollable anger - it was always right below the surface, just waiting for a chance to explode. Even Tyr could set me off - I was thankful that he could understand it, could understand me, but sometimes - sometimes I wanted to kill him, kill anyone, kill everyone.

I ran my shaking fingers across the long scar across my collar bone. Probably the scariest day of my life was the day I'd tried to kill my brother - my brother, who meant everything to me. All he'd done was ruffle my hair walking past me into the living room - he probably hadn't even seen the knife in my hand. It was his eyes that had saved him that day. His frozen blue eyes that were just like mine, staring up at me wide and terrified.

The tip of the blade was an inch away from his neck when I turned the knife around and cut myself instead - the pain helped to clear my mind, and I rolled off of him. He spent the rest of that day comforting me - as if I deserved it. I'd never gotten over that; I'd tried to kill my brother, and he had acted like it was nothing. I wanted to know one day what it'd be like to love someone that much - to take care of someone who'd tried their best to kill you.

I kicked the chair back into the floor, effectively cutting off my thoughts. I stared up at the ceiling for several minutes before getting up from the floor, my mind cleared. Life was easier when I didn't think; thoughts brought anger, anger brought regret, and regret could only bring me pain. I glanced out the kitchen window, judging the time, before walking to my room to dress for the reaping. Most days I wouldn't care what I looked like - today I did; today I would see Frigg.

I discarded the loose sweats and t-shirt I wore to sleep in and pulled on a light blue, button-up shirt, the buttons already buttoned, and a pair of jeans that didn't have any holes in them - this was the best I was willing to do. The cotton fabric was itchy on my neck and I had to take several deep breaths to prevent myself from tearing the shirt off and choosing a new one. I was a vain creature on Reaping Days, and I knew the aggravating shirt made my eyes stand out and my hair look shiny.

I ran my fingers through the blonde mess before looking to the mirror on my wall to smooth it down; I was thankful to have straight hair, rather than the wavy, brown nest that belonged to my brother - if I were him I'd have ripped it all out by now. My eyes trailed quickly over my face, looking for any dirt, any cuts, any imperfections; satisfied there were none I exited the room and the house, strolling in the direction of the square.

I fiddled absentmindedly with the marble in my pocket. It was clear, no designs to be seen, and cracked in several places; some days it reminded me of myself - the only reason I held on to it; well, maybe not the only reason. Frigg was the one to give it to me. Maybe not directly - probably not even on purpose - but it'd been hers once, when she was still a little girl. I'd been 9 and she'd been 7 - I was still tore up over killing my parents, but she hadn't known anything about that. She saw me sitting by myself and walked right by without another glance - but the marble had fallen from her hands and rolled to a stop right at my feet.

I'd wanted to talk to her from that moment on, but amazingly - impossibly - she made me hesitate. I was used to rejection, had faced it a thousand times over again, but I don't want to know what I'd do if she ever rejected me; I'd hurt her surely, and then where would I be? Alone again - in pain because I couldn't control my anger... again.

The buzz of voices ahead broke me from my thoughts, and I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was in front of the Justice Building. I shook my head at my own distraction, and stealthily maneuvered my way through the crowd to the sign-in station. Tyr was talking to Frigg, turning on his casual charm - I felt my hands clenching into fists, but ignored it the best I could; Tyr doesn't like Frigg, he's just gotta thing for her father - age difference be damned. I pushed my way into the line right behind Frigg; anger was radiating off of the little girl behind me - I almost wished she would say something, give me an excuse to draw a little attention to myself, but she didn't.

I turned my attention back to the conversation, startled to find Frigg leaning close to a pale Tyr - does she like him? I felt my arm twitch, dying to reach out and pull her away from him, but I resisted; she was pulling away on her own. Tyr looked pretty shaken, I wondered what she said to him, but then he looked past her and at me; I didn't like the gleam that came to his eyes. He sat forward in his seat.

"My brother's got a thing for you, you know? Might wanna watch out." I scoffed loudly - as if she even knew I existed - but she didn't notice. She was quick to dismiss him and hurry off to find a place in the small crowd - everyone was behind her, waiting for Tyr to quit stalling them. I approached the desk and listened to Tyr ramble about how cold Frigg was, asking me how I could like her. If I didn't know he was gay I'd probably have punched him dead in the face, but as is, I would just pretend her status as a girl turned him off - which was probably true anyways.

"You know something? If you weren't my brother you'd be in the ground and rotting by now." Several people in the line behind me backed off when they heard that - served them right for eavesdropping - but Tyr just chuckled deeply.

"Then thank the gods you're mine, right?" I felt an urge to tease him about the way he'd worded that sentence, but I ignored it; I don't tease anyone, let alone the brother I wanted to kill half the time. I rolled my eyes and watched as he finally got around to signing me in. I stalked off to stand in the crowd, glaring at anyone stupid enough to brush past me - sometimes I wanted to drop all the reins and kill a few dozen people, but then I would remember that would get me killed and I'd shrug it off. With all the emotions I kept pent up, it was a wonder I hadn't gone insane - or more insane I guess.

After several torturous minutes of this I found Frigg in the crowd and watched her play around with a group of girls; the smile that lit up her face when they went away was breathtaking. I looked away then - it felt like I was invading on something private; I practically was. Frigg didn't smile very often in public, not like she used to; she'd stopped that when she was ten - when her father forced her into training.

Maybe Tyr thought that Vice Ashlar was the coolest thing since throwing knives, but if I had it my way he'd be nothing but a fleshless corpse hidden away where no one would ever find him - he deserved it after what he'd done to Frigg. It was his fault that Frigg had grown from the sweet, little girl she had been into a blood-thirsty killing machine; she'd do anything to make that man happy. Be it my brother or Frigg, love was far beyond my grasp; I simply couldn't understand the reasoning behind the things people did in the name of it.

The opening sounds of the Capitol movie were a welcome relief from my thoughts. I focused all my attention on the screen, ignoring the proximity of the heavily breathing person to my left - I almost wished to go into the Games, just to let off a little steam. How stupid did you have to be not to realize that I like my space?

My eyes flashed briefly to the mockingjay flying across the movie screen - it was an anomaly I'd picked up on about 3 years back, when I was fourteen. I'd always had a problem keeping my attention in any one place for long, but when I do I'm prone to notice things other people don't, and the mockingjay was one of those things. It was just a video clip that repeated over and over, every year. I never bothered putting much thought into it - what would it matter anyways? I'm one teenage murderer with anger issues; who would bother with anything I ever said?

I was relieved when the video ended and the escort finally came flouncing onto the stage. His name was Talon Privick, and he was one of the most annoying people I'd ever not even truly met yet. His voice was too high, his clothes too dark, his attitude too bright - everything about him was in excess, and if the rest of the capitol people were anything like him they all needed to be stabbed repeatedly with a rusty butter knife. I wrinkled my nose at him as he began to speak.

"Hey District 2! It's been a while, yeah? I hope you're all as excited as I am this year. It's going to be so cool, but I have a feeling this is going to be a unique year." No shit Sherlock - it's probably been a couple decades at least since District 1 failed to produce any careers, of course it will be different. He pranced across the stage and plucked a paper from the giant bowl on the right.

"Ladies first! How exciting is this?" I narrowly resisted the urge to growl at him; he was exactly the type of person who could push my every button - he'd be lucky to live if I was ever reaped.

"Okay. Listen up now! The female tribute is Frigg Ashlar!" That - that was unexpected. My head snapped in Frigg's general direction and I quickly spotted her walking towards the stage. I felt my heart give a strange jolt; I always knew she was planning to volunteer when she was eighteen - three years from now - but I wouldn't have been able to help her then; I'd be twenty by then, and unable to volunteer. I felt my lips twitch upwards at the twist of fate; there was nothing stopping me now.

"Frigg, is it? You look beautiful today!" I most definitely did not like the way he was looking at her; I didn't even look at her that way - probably... hopefully. I dug my nails deep into my palms to keep my mouth closed; she seemed to be handling the situation nicely on her own - though she was obviously uncomfortable with the comment.

"Now for the boys! The tribute is Hod Ladner!" I almost hesitated when I heard Frigg laugh. Something about the situation amused her, but then I decided it was worth it, whether she got angry with me or not; it's not like anger was something new to me - not in the least. I plastered a grin on my face and raised my hand high.

"I volunteer." Her reaction was entertaining; she snapped around to stare at me, surprised, as I walked onto the stage, then started glaring. I didn't take offense - she glared at everyone - and stared back at her; this seemed to unsettle her a little, so I turned to look at Talon - just in time too. He'd thrown his microphone at me.

"Introduce yourself to the District please!" I looked out over the crowd, deliberating throwing the microphone right back at his ugly face, before I looked back at Frigg and spoke as calmly as I was able.

"Hey. My name's Colten. Colten Whytt." I had to grin when I saw her paying attention to what I was saying; there was something about her acknowledging my existence that made me feel ecstatic - euphoric even. I passed the microphone back to Talon, not taking my eyes off of Frigg. Her eyes followed my hands as I did this, and I suddenly felt a little self-conscious - I didn't want her to write me off as a freak because I had a habit of hurting myself; it was honestly good for everyone else's wellbeing.

Miraculously, the small red marks seemed to make her happy; pain. That - that I could do for her. If she wanted to see me in pain - I'd show her pain; Hell, she might even be the one to cause it. If it made her happy - if it made her smile - I might even let her kill me; Heaven knows she'd be better off.

* * *

I spent the few minutes I had alone in the Justice Building thinking; was I really ready to die? Just like that for a girl? I'd asked myself the questions about thirty times, but I still hadn't answered the question. Frigg was special, she could be something; it wasn't too late for her - not yet. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered how painfully she'd kill me if she knew I was even thinking these thoughts about her - but pain was good; pain was a blessing in disguise. Would it really be such a bad thing?

I fought the urge to scoff at my line of thought; I was being pathetic, like all those lovesick children I despised so much. But what did it matter? If I was going into the Games with Frigg, one of us would die - it would be me before it'd ever be her, and to die by her hand would be a dream. And this way - this way I'd never have to find out what her rejection would be like.

I sighed loudly and ran a hand through my hair, messing it up. It was right about then that Tyr came rushing through the doors; it was easy to tell he was mad at me - I didn't care all that much.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I can't believe you just did that!" His face was red, his arms wheeling, and he was pacing across the expensive velvet carpet. I just propped my legs up on the couch and crossed my arms behind my head, my eyes trailing after him.

"I mean, really! This isn't a game Colten! Do you have a death wish? Huh!?" He spun towards me suddenly and grabbed a fistful of my shirt; it took every ounce of self control in my body to stop from lashing out at him right then - this was probably something I deserved. When I didn't fight him, the energy seemed to drain from his body and he leaned his forehead against mine.

"God Colten - don't you know what this is gonna do to me?" My eyes were still wide open, staring at his face; I was shocked to see tears forcing their way out of the corners of his eyes. Truth be told - I hadn't thought about him for a second; would he care that much if I died? There was a sudden knot in my throat that I had to swallow harshly around before I could speak.

"I didn't think -" He pushed me back into the couch and backed away, pacing again.

"I know that!" He snarled. "I know you love that girl, but are you really ready to die for her?"

"Frigg." I pushed out through gritted teeth, "Her name is Frigg, or did you forget since half-an-hour ago?"

He just shook his head and kept pacing - finally I just kicked my leg out and tripped him.

"Stop doing that! It's irritating." He glared at me from the floor and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Why should I even listen to you? I'm the older brother here, and you're the one who's being an idiot!" I grunted dismissively at that, but I didn't respond, just pulled my hair down over my eyes. A moment later my brother yanked my hands away and frowned at me.

"'Stop doing that!'" He imitated me, then gave a small half smile. "If you yank out all your hair, you'll regret it when you see Frigg later."

The truth of the statement outweighed the annoyance. "Or just about every time I look in a reflective surface - remember the time you shaved all your hair off and found out the look didn't suit you? That's what I'd look like, but with patches."

I snickered fondly at the memory, but Tyr didn't, just stared hard at me and sighed sadly.

"How can you do this so calmly?" He shoved my legs off of the couch and plopped down next to me, leaning his head back and glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Aren't you scared? You're running to your death here. You don't even really know Frigg; how can she be worth it?"

The truth was that I didn't have an answer for that. I knew in my soul Frigg was the right thing for me - a chance to redeem myself even, but I couldn't really put it into words; I didn't care about this though - she was worth it to me. No matter what she did, she'd always be worth it. I'd never met a person I related to more than her. We'd both been innocent children once, changed by the actions of our parents, abandoned by our mothers when they were supposed to protect us, and we were both worse off for all of it. The only good thing I had going for me was my fear at what I was becoming - the only good thing for her was her doubts; she didn't see them, but they were there. I have a chance to show her now, even if it means dying.

I rubbed my neck tiredly, ready to explain the best I knew how. I pulled the old, see-through marble out of my pants pocket and handed it to him - he looked it over for a second, then looked back to me, confused.

"Me and Frigg are like this marble. When we young, we were shiny and innocent and easy to see through. But then, as we grew older, we were cracked. You following?"

He nodded slowly, "Think so, keep going."

I pushed away the growing feeling of vulnerability - this needed to come out. "So we're easy to get to, but the cracks make us harder to see through. We hide who we are with a hard appearance, but it doesn't change the fact that we're easily broken."

He nodded again, and I shrugged my shoulders uncomfortably; who knew talking could be so disconcerting. "Well, I'm too far gone, broken beyond repair - don't even try to deny it - but Frigg - she's not. She's still got a shot, so I guess I pine after her, watch her all the time, because I don't want her to break like I did. I want her to be a better person in a way that it's impossible for me to be now. I feel like watching her and hoping for her will make her better - I know it won't, but I do it anyways."

That was probably the lamest and most... soft, way to put it, but he didn't seem to care. He nudged me with his elbow and grinned jauntily at me, "But you still like her a little bit, don't you?"

I almost laughed - almost - but I managed to keep it in.

"Just a little bit." Or maybe even more than a little bit - but is it possible to love someone you don't know?

About two seconds later, Vice Ashlar stuck his head through the door. "Come now Tyr - you got twice the time normally given for goodbyes. Special treatment or not, you're not the president."

He then quickly ducked back out. If Tyr hadn't been gripping my shoulder, I'd have probably done something I'd really regret. I shrugged his hand off, ignoring the small burn now lingering there, and stood up stretching. Tyr got up and pulled me into a swift hug - I let my arms hang down uselessly; it was incredibly awkward for me.

I tried my best to say the next words without any emotion.

"You can tell them when I'm gone - that it was me I mean. They've wanted some solid proof for years." He chuckled and squeezed my shoulders, before pulling away with a wink.

"I don't know what you're talking about Colt - you never did anything wrong." He turned and left before I could say anything else. I felt a genuine smile creeping it's way onto my face; if all else failed - if Frigg hated me, if I lost it in the Games - at least there was my brother. My brother who was everything that had ever been good in me; at least he would live.

* * *

Train Ride: Colten Whytt POV:

I stepped lightly onto the train, following the voices to the edge of the dining room. Frigg, Saffra, and Talon were sitting at a long, grand sort of table talking to each other - or Talon was talking, the other two sitting quietly scooping food into their mouths. I noticed Frigg was stabbing her spoon harshly at her soup; something must've been eating at her. I considered asking her later, but dismissed the notion quickly. Frigg wouldn't want to talk to me - or anyone else - if something was bothering her; she has too much pride for that.

I walked quietly into the room and took a seat across from her , next to Saffra; I didn't miss the way her eyes stayed trained on her meal - it was painfully obvious she was avoiding my gaze. I started to feel annoyed after several more minutes of this, but it hit me suddenly - her father was Vice Ashlar. I felt a chill run down my spine; she knows - she knows and she won't even look at me. It made me angry very quickly; somehow I'd always thought she'd understand. I was stupid to think she would; I knew a few things about her, but she knew next to nothing about me. I felt like stabbing something.

"Colten!" My head snapped to the right, to Saffra.

"What!" I snapped harshly at her for breaking my thoughts. She just stared pointedly at me, maybe a little appraisingly, while Talon screeched loudly beside her and Frigg looked confused from across the table. It took a moment of awkward silence to realize that my ears were ringing and my hand was bleeding - a lot, judging from the stain spreading over my jeans. I relaxed the fists I hadn't felt clenching in the first place and noticed a knife sitting in a puddle of blood on the floor; the palm of my hand was split wide open.

Talon rushed around the side of the table suddenly. "I'll go get a nurse or something!"

I rolled my eyes at his squeamish expression and threw my feet up on the table. I eyed the blood running from the cut - wiping it every now and again to watch it run in new paths. I was feeling strangely giddy - it took longer than it should have to realize my head was pounding.

About that time, Talon rushed in with two men I didn't even know were on the train, and pressed himself against the wall. I laughed at that, throwing my head back. The world was spinning - there was a long, thick needle sticking out of my arm.

* * *

A bright, blinding light shined in my face and I slowly opened my eyes. A strange dream: as if they'd really give us knives to cut our food with - the Capitol is ignorant, but they're not stupid. I moved to get up and felt a sharp kind of pain traveling up my arm from my hand. I take that back, the Capitol is full of idiots.

I used my good arm to work my way up, wondering in the back of my mind why they hadn't used their miracle medicine to cure it. I was in what was probably supposed to be my room; everything was nice and neat, and shiny too. The sun streaming through the windows was reflecting off of everything, irritating my eyes. I closed the blinds - the train was still moving. That's good, I wouldn't want rumors spreading of a suicide attempt - it wasn't like I was trying to kill myself. Hell, it wasn't even intentional.

I changed into a crisp white t-shirt and some khaki shorts, discarding the old, blood-stained clothes I'd been wearing. I snorted under my breath, could they not even do that? I bet they ran out of the room as fast as they could - anything to get away from the cackling maniac; passed out cackling maniac, but the point stands. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a cracked door leading to what looked like a bathroom - a shower. I took advantage of the chance to get clean - I'd never liked feeling grungy and dirty - putting on the same clothes I'd changed into before.

It felt nice to be clean, and I cracked my neck, walking out the door to join the others. I couldn't say I was prepared to look at them - if nothing else, the "dream" was embarrassing. Weakness wasn't welcome in the Games, and that was what it'd been - weakness. I wrinkled my nose, then smoothed out my face, walking into the dining room; why do we always gather in here, anyways?

Frigg saw me first, and she didn't seem as nervous as she was yesterday. She met my eyes, hers narrowed, and I gave her a sort of half smile - or what felt like one; it was probably something more like a grimace. She crossed her arms across her chest.

"What, do you have - some kind of death wish? You should've just gave me the knife - I could've done it the right way and you wouldn't be breathing right now." I liked her sense of humor - the way her face lit up, or maybe I just imagined it did, with the amusement she got from the comment. If anyone else had said that I'd have strangled them, but when she said it, she didn't actually mean it; at least, not entirely.

Talon ruined the mood shortly, "Frigg! How could you even say that? He's not even properly healed yet!"

His face was horribly shocked and I had an urge to knock him in his hanging jaw. I wrinkled my nose at him distastefully; I was really starting to despise him.

"What does it matter to you? I'm the one she was talking to." I crossed my arms across my chest, mimicking Frigg's earlier actions, "If I'd been in my right mind yesterday, it's you I would've have cut - not me."

I felt a deep sense of satisfaction at the way the blood drained from his face. "See? I bet you wish she had the knife now, don't you?"

I didn't miss the way Saffra was snickering behind her hand - as buddy, buddy she was with the guy, you could never truly be friends with someone from the Capitol. A minute or so passed before Frigg said anything else.

"I don't need you to defend me." She was glaring at me; it seemed like she was always glaring at somebody. I just took a seat across from her and shrugged, noticing minutely that there were no knives at the table and Talon was now making a sad attempt to chop at the luscious steak on his plate.

"Maybe not, but I wanted to." She just clenched her jaw and turned away from me. This didn't irritate me in the least - her pride was admirable, even to me.

The conversation seemed to die out in the next moment - no one really speaking. I deliberated how good I felt today, despite the pain in my hand. Frigg had looked at me - I felt like an idiot, letting her get to me like that. Maybe I do have a thing for her, but there is such a thing as going too far with it. I cleared my mind quickly, focusing instead on the shiny spinning blades of the fan attached to the ceiling. Just for show, or were they what really kept the room so cool? Talon broke the silence finally.

"Aren't the two of you excited to finally get to the Capitol?" He beamed at us, "I don't mean to brag, but my home is so very beautiful. I can't wait until you see it!"

I shared a small glance with Frigg - I enjoyed the mirth dancing in her eyes - and we both returned to the food in front of us without a word. He tried again, his face slightly fallen.

"Well, I bet you're looking forward to finally getting a little training in! The training room for the tributes is state of the art - you can't find a better one anywhere!" That was probably true, and in all honesty I was looking forward to it - there were all sorts of nice weapons there; better than anything we'd ever see in the districts anyways. Frigg turned to look at Saffra suddenly.

"You're our mentor aren't you? So why aren't you mentoring," She raised her eyebrow at the stoic woman, "Think we don't need it because he's a psycho?"

I didn't take any offense to that; I was glad she was loosening up about it - I didn't think it was possible for someone who knew about me to do that - so I just added, " You're expecting us to lose, aren't you."

It wasn't a question, just a statement, and she continued to look blankly at us, "Well I'm the last winner District 2 has had in twenty-six years. I won the seventh and there hasn't been a District 2 winner since then. Sure, the two from our District always last a good, long while, but eventually they get killed off by mutts, their allies, fires, what have you."

She was right about that; our tributes never seemed to win, but they always got far enough to make a good impression on our District. That was what was really important; Frigg didn't seem to share my attitude on the subject.

"I'm going to win, and neither of you are going to stop me." She spit this out between gritted teeth and looked between us challengingly; I wasn't going to argue with her there. I wanted her to win probably as much as she did. Saffra tapped the table, drawing our - my eyes back to her.

"Then you better start figuring out your angle; we'll be in the Capitol in twenty minutes." She stood up, her joints popping loudly, and left the room, effectively ending the conversation. I crossed my arms, ignoring the twinge in my left, and leaned back in my chair - Talon looked disapprovingly at me, but I ignored him and turned to face Frigg. She was already eying me - trying to determine the angle I would use no doubt. I eyed her back, and voiced my thoughts.

"So which angle do you think I could pull off?" I grinned at her, hoping it was casual enough - I wanted to take this time to talk to her while I still could, while she was interested. She shrugged, seemingly indifferent.

"You could pull off just about anything." I had to smirk at her wording, and she narrowed her eyes at me from across the table.

"Or you could just tell everyone that you killed your parents and leave it at that - the citizens would go crazy over it; you could finally show everyone who you really are." My face heated. That hurt a little bit - more than a little bit - and I felt anger building in my chest; I pushed it down and met her angry eyes.

"What, you think I want everyone to know that?" Talon's terrified squeak was a testimony of what I'd get from the Capitol; Frigg didn't back down - her pride was too great for that.

"Why shouldn't you? It had to get out eventually. What would Tyr think when he heard about what you did? Might as well get it out before you die in the arena. It's a win-win for you." She tilted her head in what she thought was a menacing way - my anger drained away; she was oddly adorable - to me - when she was trying to be scary, but terrifying - to most people - when she wasn't.

"What, you think Tyr doesn't know?" I snorted loudly at that, "He's the only one who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was me."

She looked disconcerted by that, but she cleared her face quickly; not quick enough. "But he never told anyone? He's a peacekeeper; isn't it his duty or something?"

"Probably, but no - he never said anything." I was surprised at the bitter tone to my voice; Frigg seemed to be too, but she turned the conversation in another direction.

"So what angle could I pull off?" She said this awkwardly; I knew this was because she didn't talk to many people - I don't either... usually. I ran my hands threw my hair and chuckled.

"You said I could pull off anything - well you could pull off just as much." She shook her head decisively.

"No, you're better at talking to people than I am." More like I was better at pretending not to hate them, but I still wasn't all that good at that. I didn't bother disputing it.

"But you could still pull off anything else - except..." She waved her hand expectantly, "Don't try too hard. You don't look scary at all when you do."

I could tell she was offended, but I guess she believed me because she didn't say anything, just glowered moodily at the wall. Talon spoke up from the edge of the table - I'd forgotten he was there; maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk about these kind of things out in the open.

"Look! We're here!" He looked relieved; I didn't blame him much. It'd hurt when Frigg felt uncomfortable about my parents, but it was nothing for everyone else to - I was happy that she seemed to be getting over her discomfort. Frigg stood and walked over to the window; I didn't bother. I admired her smiling face when she started waving to the buzzing crowd outside the window.

She was playing the citizens like a pro, and I hoped with everything I had that she would get a lot of sponsors - anything to help her win these Games.

* * *

Sorry for the Numerous Delays/Procrastination,

Luvakatsuki3


	5. Hiatus -- Sorry

Unfortunately, I've decided to put this story on Hiatus for a little while. I think I never really appreciated how hard it actually is to stay focused on an SYOT. When it's not your own characters, not your own story, not your own plot, it's a lot harder than I thought to stay focused on it.

I will continue this fanfiction eventually (probably in another month or two), but until then I have other stories that I want to focus on, and hopefully I'll become a better writer and learn some new things while I'm doing other writing, and when I do come back to this it'll be better than before.

* * *

Sorry About This,

Luvakatsuki3


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